Tag Archives: finding time as a mom

Guest Article from Suzie Tullett: Living Outside Your Box as a Woman Writer

Taking on Individual Roles in Life: Living Outside the Box
by Suzie Tullett, author of Little White Lies and Butterflies

In my experience, when it comes to certain relationships we’re very often put in boxes. We’re expected to behave and think in a certain way according to our role.

Of course over time expectations change, alongside the societies we live in.

Take us women, for example. Once of a day we were simply expected to manage the home, support our men and raise our children. Not that any of these tasks were, indeed are, ever all that simple! However, thanks to changing times being the perfect homemaker is no longer our sole responsibility. We’re now expected to bring home at least some of the bacon on top of everything else; apparently multi-tasking is something we’re good at.

Naturally, I don’t think this is a bad thing. The contributions we women make are just as valid outside of the home as they are inside. And women have fought hard for us to gain the rights we enjoy today.

But wouldn’t it be fun to be able to fly in the face of what’s expected of us just once in a while? I mean, imagine our colleagues’ faces if we turned up at the office wearing a onesie; Or if we decided to give up the day job completely as well as the household chores, in favour of setting up a new world religion.

That’s why it’s fun to be a fiction writer. If we so choose, we can write characters who for whatever reason feel able to do and say many of the things we, in reality, probably wouldn’t. Our characters can disregard all things conventional – albeit, in a way that’s completely understandable considering their histories and personalities.

But when it comes to penning our stories, we as writers can blur the lines of who our relationships dictate we be too.

Take me as a mother of two sons. One of them waits until my novels are a bone fide book before he opens the first page; the other gets a little more involved in the writing process. He tells me what’s working, what’s not quite on the page in the way I might think it is and I have to say he’s an excellent spell checker. But whatever role my children do or don’t take, in reading my work at whatever stage they have the opportunity to see me outside of the box that our relationship puts me in. It enables them to learn a bit more about the way I tick not just as their mother, but as an individual in my own right.

 Little White Lies and Butterflies, Synopsis~                  

9781908208194_covA child of the nineties, Lydia Livingston is different. The last thing she’s ever wanted is to be superwoman; she knows first-hand that ‘having it all’ isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be. As far as she’s concerned, when it comes to job versus family, it’s a definite case of one or the other. And whilst most women her age have spent years climbing the corporate ladder, she’s made a career out of bagging her perfect man. At almost thirty and still single, Lydia wonders if she’d made the right choice all those years ago. And realising the time has come to take stock, she goes against her family’s wishes and banishes herself off to a distant land- all in the hope of finding a new direction.

 
At least that’s the plan.
 
But Lydia Livingston isn’t just different, she’s misunderstood. A fact she knows all too well. So when the totally unsuitable Sam comes along, she decides to tell a little white lie, re-inventing herself as a professional chef- not exactly the best new identity to come up with for a woman who can’t even cook. Of course, the last thing she expects is for him to find out the truth and start blackmailing her. Let alone find herself roped into catering for a local wedding. But with things going from bad to worse, her madder than mad family also turn up in something of a surprise visit, intent on celebrating a birthday she’s no intentions of celebrating!
 
 

Suzie Tullett, Biography~

Born and raised in Lancashire, Suzie Tullett has worn many hats in life: from office work to teaching, from managing an advice center to being an outreach worker for Women’s Aid. She’s achieved a Bachelor’s and a Master’s and works with the BBC as a scriptwriter—all while raising her family. Ultimately, she wants to leave scriptwriting behind and write full-time. She says “it’s fair to say my working life has given me the chance to get to know all kinds of people, from all kinds of backgrounds; a definite asset for anyone looking to write for a living.”

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Guest Post: Author Tanya Peterson Discusses Mental Health Awareness and Making Time to Write

Today we have a guest post by author Tanya J. Peterson, who is on book tour for her just published novel, Leave of Absence.  Her fiction novel encompasses the issues of mental illness and she hopes to create awareness and break down barriers with her work. In the guest post, Tanya tells us why she wrote the book and then gives us insight and advice into how to make time for ourselves for things like pursuing our dreams, without feeling guilty……writing included!

You can view a synopsis of the book and her information at the end of the post. Stop back by the next two Fridays here to see a review of the book and then an exclusive interview. Take it away, Tanya….

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Time for a Mission
Guest Post by Tanya J. Peterson, Author of Leave of Absence

Tanya PetersonI have a mission in life:  to help reduce the stigma associated with mental illness.  Doing this involves correcting the negative stereotypes that are perpetuated by mainstream media and helping people understand what various mental illnesses are really like.  Doing this will increase understanding, and with understanding comes compassion. 

I’m joining lots of others in this mission, of course, and we all have unique things to offer.  I’m drawing on my background, my life experience, and my love of writing, and I’ve rolled them all together to create Leave of Absence.  In the novel, Penelope Baker wrestles with schizophrenia and depression and the devastating impact these illnesses have had on her life.  Oliver Graham experiences post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and complicated mourning in the wake of the traumatic loss of his wife and son.  (I won’t say more so I don’t infringe upon Erin’s review or inadvertently create a spoiler!)

I drew on my background and experience to make these characters realistic.  One of my goals is to correct the misconceptions and stereotypes that are out there, so I figured that I’d better be accurate.  The background and experience to which I’ve referred is this:  I’ve experienced mental illness from the perspective of a counselor and the perspective of a patient.  I have a degree in counseling and am a Nationally Certified Counselor, and I’ve worked with people to help them help themselves.  I’m also a patient.  I have Bipolar I disorder.  I’ve even been in a behavioral health hospital on several occasions in the past.  That was extremely helpful in depicting Airhaven, the behavioral health center that is the setting for much of Leave of Absence. Airhaven and the characters there are definitely fictitious, but I drew on the reality of my own experience to paint a picture of life in a behavioral health hospital.

I’m really happy that I finally took a chance and dove headfirst into my passions.  I’ve wanted to write for a very long time, but until recently I pushed my dream aside.  Real life and its responsibilities kept getting in the way.  To be sure, much of that was by choice.  I wanted to have a family, and I have two wonderful children with my husband.  Kids, marriage, and a career are time-consuming.  Originally, I was a high school teacher; later, I was an at-home mom who volunteered in schools, led a Cub Scout den, and did ordinary mothering tasks. During this time, I did write a novel (It’s a YA novel entitled Losing Elizabeth, which I published last year using CreateSpace.  I like its message about an emotionally abusive relationship, but I don’t consider myself a strong YA author.  I did learn a lot about publishing from that experience.)  I really, really enjoyed writing that novel, but it required a lot of my time, and I felt guilty devoting so much of my energy to it rather than to my family.  At the time, I saw it as an either-or type of thing:  either I was a writer or a mother, but certainly not both at the same time. 

Then, I suffered a traumatic brain injury in a car accident, entered graduate school for counseling, was diagnosed (in the hospital I mentioned above) with Bipolar I disorder (not caused by the injury), graduated, worked and volunteered as a counselor, moved across the country, and worked at a school for runaway and homeless adolescents (my official title was teacher, but only two of us worked in a school of approximately 45 students who attended when they could, and I played dual role of teacher and counselor).  During this time, as I experienced the consequences of stigma and helped others who also faced this stigma, my passion to change things grew.  And my love of writing and desire to write novels also grew. 

Yet I was still a busy mother.  Certainly I should continue to put my own desires on hold.  I found it increasingly difficult, though, to ignore the desire to write novels and create characters to whom people could connect.  I wanted to use my characters to show what mental illness and its stigma are really like.  Then I had an epiphany.  As a mother, I could do a tremendous service to my kids by modeling the fact that women, mothers can indeed follow their dreams.  As important as it is for me to provide this service to my children, even more important is the fact that I’m honoring myself by doing something that makes me happy. 

I once saw a bumper sticker that read, “If Mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”  In my household, that’s very true!  I’m happy when I write.  I’m happy that I’m modeling healthy behavior for my kids.  And I’m happy that I’m pursuing a greater mission:  to increase awareness and understanding of mental illness through character-driven novels like Leave of Absence.

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Leave of Absence Synopsis~

9781592998838 cov.indd“Oliver knew deep in his heart that he would never, ever be better.” In this insightful and evocative novel, Tanya J. Peterson delves deeply into the world of post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and schizophrenia.

When Oliver Graham’s suicide attempt fails, he is admitted to Airhaven Behavioral Health Center. Unable to cope with the traumatic loss of his beloved wife and son, he finds a single thread of attachment to life in Penelope, a fellow patient wrestling with schizophrenia and its devastating impact on her once happy and successful life. They both struggle to discover a reason to live while Penelope’s fiancé William strives to convince her that she is worth loving. As Oliver and Penelope try to achieve emotional stability, face others who have been part of their lives, and function in the “real world,” they discover that human connection may be reason enough to go on.

Written with extraordinary perception into the thought processes of those grappling with mental illness, Leave of Absence is perfect for readers seeking an empathic depiction of grief, loss, and schizophrenia, as well as anyone who has ever experienced human suffering and healing.

Here’s a link to the video trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-8nJd0jng4

Author Tanya J. Peterson, Biography~

Tanya PetersonTanya J. Peterson holds a Bachelor of Science in secondary education, Master of Science in counseling, and is a Nationally Certified Counselor.  She has been a teacher and a counselor in various settings, including a traditional high school and an alternative school for homeless and runaway adolescents, and she has volunteered her services in both schools and communities.  She draws on her life experience as well as her education to write stories about the emotional aspect of the human condition.  She has published Losing Elizabeth, a young adult novel about an abusive relationship, Challenge!, a short story about a person who finds the confidence to overcome criticism and achieve a goal, and a book review of Linley and Joseph’s Positive Therapy: A Meta-Theory for Positive Psychological Practice that appeared in Counseling Today, the national publication of the American Counseling Association. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and two children.

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